04 March 2010

Rob Comes Out Again

After I took those first furtive peeks and steps outside the closet, I started seeing and hearing comments about how the process actually takes a long time, that you end up coming out over and over again. As a newbie, I wasn't quite sure how that could be, but I caught on pretty quickly.

I'm not one to go about advertising my orientation. It's not what defines me, it's not the sole focus of my life by any means. But it is a part of what I am, and I make no apologies. I'll talk about it if/when it's relevant, just like any straight person would. But I've also found that those early comments were right, in a sense you do end up coming out of the closet many times.

So blog friends, let me tell you about the latest one for me. A few weeks ago I ran across a blog called Brody's Notes & Scribbles out of Washington D.C. I was intrigued. I made a brief comment on one of the posts.

A few days later I awoke to a long e-mail from the blog's author, Brody Levesque, a veteran journalist in Washington. To my astonishment, he invited me to become a guest columnist for his blog, which I suspect gets a little more attention than mine does. Apparently Brody knows people at The Advocate, and by curious coincidence, within 24 hours of my post about last week's memorial service for Stuart Matis, my photo of the Los Altos LDS chapel showed up in The Advocate's story about Stuart. (Raise eyebrow here)

That invitation led to some phonecalls and detailed discussions, with the result that this morning your humble correspondent's first guest column is up at Brody's site. I'm flattered by Brody's invitation and excited by the prospect of being able to speak to a wider audience.

So that's my latest coming out story. There's no hiding anymore. The curtain is now pulled completely back and Rob has stepped onto the stage. For Facebook friends who've wondered about why I recently began shifting you all to my real name profile, well, now you know one of the reasons.

And for those of you who may land here from Brody's blog for the first time, welcome and thanks for stopping by. I have only one voice, but I do have a voice. I hope you like what you find here.


Tim Trent said...

As one such visitor, Rob, one who came out to his own son when he was 14 or 15, "Way to go!"

For those who struggle with coming out, you will know when you want to do it. You will know why you want to do it, and you will, usually quietly, just do it.

I don't have what I perceive to be the awkward baggage of a formal religion to handle. You have so much more than I did to cope with. Some of that I detail here, on my website, but what I commend to you is the idea of writing a letter to your 16 year old self. I did that on the same site, different page and found it helped me clear my head.

I enjoyed your article at BN&S :) From one guest correspondent to another, Hi!

Max Power said...

Congratulations, Rob!

Grant Haws said...

Coming out really is a process, and an unending one at that. You don't really understand the depth of that until you start doing it. Short of waving rainbow flags in everyone's face that you meet, you come out over and over again. And you have to decide who is a person you can be open with, and who you have to be more reserved with - not hiding your homosexuality, but not announcing it on a loud speaker.

Congrats Rob...You ought to be proud of yourself.

AL SMITH said...

Hi Rob-
I read about your blog in Ohana News. I also live in SD. I've been out for like 25 years. To a certain extent the coming out never stops. It happens with every new person you meet.