Letter to Dad

I wish I could tell you. I wish that you knew
Everything in my heart and what I've tried to do
All my life so I'd be what you wanted me to.
But for now, it will just have to wait.

You're a wonderful dad, how could I ask for more?
You're the one when I hurt I would always cry for;
When my boat was adrift you'd bring me back to shore.
Yes of course I do love you, of course.

And the ears of a child pick up things you forget,
And his eyes quickly spot what you don't see as yet,
And he quickly discerns that his home safety net
Is unlikely to hold him through this.

Now the child is a man and you think that you see
All that he has become, that you want him to be,
Bur there's part of his soul that he's finally set free
That you probably never will know.

For the years of experience teach him that you
Simply could not withstand, simply could not pull through
If he told everything his heart knows to be true
About who your son always has been.

Please forgive me if here I have made a mistake
And misjudged you. I just want to spare you heartache,
For I truly believe that you just could not take
Full disclosure about who I am.

It's because I love you that I'll bear this alone,
And will try the same selflessness that you have shown.
To protect you, your son will stay partly unknown.
For your happiness, I'll give up mine.

Maybe someday when both of us see much more clear
And we're free of an earth life so tainted by fear,
Maybe then I'll be brave, you'll be ready to hear.
But for now, Dad, it just has to wait.