"My Little Factory" Cut From Primary Song List

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"MY LITTLE FACTORY" CUT FROM PRIMARY SONG LIST
By Paul Allen

SALT LAKE CITY, UT-The General Primary Music Board announced today that it has removed the song "My Little Factory" from consideration as it compiles its list for proposed updates to the Primary Songbook. Said Eva Cushman, spokeswoman for the Song Selection Appropriateness Committee, "We just felt that it introduced a spirit of inquiry in Primary that our Sharing Time teachers were not prepared to handle. 'What does the factory produce? Why does it run out? How do you start it up?' I ask you--who wants to deal with that in a group of CTRs?"

The songbook update is intended to include songs that not only teach gospel themes but also Church standards. Songs such as "I Will Never Let My Navel Show", "White Shirts and Snappy Ties", and "One Piercing, Enough For Me" are intended to remind children of the importance of appropriate dress and grooming, while "Never Ever a Boozer Will I Be" reinforces the theme that the Word of Wisdom is a sacred commandment. While "My Little Factory" was said to have had support at the highest levels of Church leadership, many in the Primary organization are grateful that The Brethren ultimately listened to those who work directly with the children.

Other songs that were deleted early from the list of suggestions included "Missionary to the Moslems" (which included references to hand grenades and surface-to-air missiles) and "Joseph and Emma and Fanny and Lucinda and Luisa and Zina and Prescienda and Agnes and Sylvia and Mary and . . ." (the Committee was concerned that the latter would become the Mormon equivalent of 100 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall). Two songs, "Froot Loops and Sacrament" and "I'll Baptize All The Dead One Day" survived an extra round of vetting, being okayed message-wise but rejected because their tunes were judged to be "too jingley" and "too somber," respectively.