Call For Contributions

I have a very good friend called Craig who is a faithful, devout Latter-day Saint. He served an honorable mission, and with his wife is now raising some wonderful kids who have befriended mine as well. His priorities are in the right place. He has a testimony and strong faith. He also has some surprisingly heterodox beliefs about a lot of things, which is very refreshing. He values integrity, honesty and respect, and practices what he preaches. He is the first person I ever came out to, and he was gracious and matter-of-fact about it. I will always be grateful to him for that. I am blessed to have him as a friend.

All that said, no two friends always agree on everything. Craig and I have had some wonderfully vigorous discussions about the course my life has taken since last summer. While we are honest about our disagreements, we always keep things respectful too.

One of the points on which we consistently disagree is the nature of being gay and whether it is something that could change or be "overcome." In our latest conversation we each stated our positions on this issue and defended them. We came to no resolution of course, but it occurred to me that some of my friends & colleagues in the 'sphere might enjoy adding to the discussion and perhaps could suggest perspectives neither I nor Craig had thought of. I've told Craig I would be doing this and he supported the idea. I think he will be interested to hear from whoever chooses to comment on our conversation, which is reproduced in pertinent part below. Craig reads my blog so you may respond to him directly. There are only two rules for comments: stick to the issues, and be polite. Disagree with Craig if you will, but back up what you say. I will not tolerate any disrespect to my honorable friend.

All right, here goes. This was our conversation, and I welcome comments:

Craig: I reject the idea that change is not possible. I refuse to believe that [being gay] is a weakness that is exempt from the universal command to overcome all weaknesses. Sorry but I am being brutally honest, I view this as an excuse. We are told over and over that our desires in this life will stay with us in the next. Please know again that I am not being judgmental. We just see this differently.

Alan: You see it as a "weakness," I do not, I see it as simply a feature found throughout creation, one on which the Church's knowledge is evolving.

Craig: Call it what you will. God creates all of us with different "features" and then commands us to change some of them to be in line with His will. I simply can't see Him giving an exemption to this one. It would mean He was invalidating His own rule, which would then nullify His divinity. But one thing is for certain, come judgment day we will all be dealt with 100% fairly.

Alan: Tell me Craig where you find that rule.

Craig: Alma 42. Was looking for a verse to quote, but I'd have to paste in the entire chapter. Best verse: 25 What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit. If so, God would cease to be God.

Alan: I have no quarrel with anything in that chapter and don't see any conflict between it and anything I've said.

Craig: So , the issue becomes: Is marriage between man and woman "the law"?

Alan: Define "the law." Not trying to be "cute", just clear.

Craig: Understood. Best answer I can give is: The scriptures, which would include, I would say, modern revelation. I am not going to say that everything spoken from the pulpit at General Conference is "scripture" because that stance irks the hell out of me and is very Stage 3, but my personal take is that the Proclamation on the Family is destined to become D&C 139.

Alan: Even that Proclamation does not rule out gay marriage.

[thereafter followed a discussion of what the scriptures do and don't say about this]

Craig: Let's focus on today. The issue of gay marriage has roared into the forefront in the past few years, and is growing in dominance. I was not alive in the time of Joseph Smith, but it does not seem to have been an issue [back then]. This is one reason why I love the idea of a living prophet. You are right that canonized scripture is the only "law" we can fall back on and you are right, as far as we know, that no canonized scripture out and out condemns homosexuality. But the scriptures, thank God, evolve. The Proclamation on the Family was given before the issue of gay marriage was as strong of an issue as it is today. I cannot agree with you that it allows for wiggle room. Its entire purpose is to define marriage as between a man and a woman.

Craig: Going back to the core issue: I do not believe in a God that would issue such a statement via His church, and then create children who are incapable of living up to it. If I were in your shoes and truly felt that I was incapable of change, I would be faced with two choices: 1) I am wrong, or 2) this Church is wrong. If 2, then all of it is wrong. So why stick around?



Discuss.