Perspective and attitude adjustment time. Sometimes we get our heads down so far that we forget to lift our gaze. Mine was yanked upward today quite suddenly, and I wanted to share the insight.
Some time ago my mother passed away. She was the kindest, gentlest, most truly Christian person I have ever known. She had the gift of purest faith, and her love for life and for everyone around her shone from her eyes all the time. No, she wasn't perfect, of course, but she came about as close to it in this life as anyone could. We all miss her very much.
This afternoon I was working away on a business project of some significance. I needed to send an updated document draft to some colleagues, and opened my e-mail drafts folder to find the message I'd started earlier. I scrolled down through the list of drafts and suddenly stopped when I saw—of all things—an e-mail from my mother, from about three years ago. I had no idea it was even there.
I opened it up and began to read. Instantly her gentle voice filled my mind. I could hear her speak the words on the page. It was chatty and upbeat, just like she always was, talking about this and that, family events, challenges, and hopes for the future. She said she didn't know what that future would bring, but that she trusted in God our Father to make everything turn out for the best. At the end, she said I love you, son.
That's when I lost it. I dissolved into the rest of the tears that I had held back ever since she passed away. To make things even more intense, at the same moment I was listening to Lauridsen's Lux Aeterna, just this week recommended to me by a fellow blogger, and truly some of the most gloriously ethereal and heavenly music I've ever heard. It was like the perfect soundtrack for hearing the voice of an angel, the kind of music I imagine now surrounds her all the time.
One stack of Kleenexes later, when I could see well enough to write again, I realized I needed to record the experience. The waterworks continue as I write, but at least I can see the screen.
It really was like being surprised by an angel. An angel I knew, and that I knew loved me. She is not here now, but I heard her voice just the same. With a message of love and assurance. Things will be okay. Have faith. Hang on. Be patient, and be strong. You aren't alone. You are loved by more than you know. Life goes far beyond what you can see. The tapestry of eternity is gloriously colorful and infinite. Trust that its creator has His purposes for you and everyone. Reach out with your hands and your heart to others whose strength you need, and whom you can strengthen. Even when you are lonely and feel alone, you are loved.
We all have tough times, and I know some in “the family” are having some right now. Forester, October, Bror, Cadence, Josh, all of my other brethren who struggle sometimes, are you reading this? Listen to my mom. She always knew what she was talking about.
Thanks Mom. Someday I will will be able to thank you in person again. And I will introduce you to a lot of my friends that I love and who you helped too.
Love
Your Son
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Words To Live By
"I never told my own religion, nor scrutinized that of another. I never attempted to make a convert, nor wished to change another's creed. I have ever judged of the religion of others by their lives....For it is in our lives, and not from our words, that our religion must be read."
--Thomas Jefferson
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come" -- Joseph Campbell
"The most distinctive mark of a cultured mind is the ability to take another’s point of view; to put one’s self in another’s place, and see life and its problems from a point of view different from one’s own. To be willing to test a new idea; to be able to live on the edge of difference in all matters intellectually; to examine without heat the burning question of the day; to have imaginative sympathy, openness and flexibility of mind, steadiness and poise of feeling, cool calmness of judgment, is to have culture." - A. H. R. Fairchild
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
- Gloria Steinem
Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth, more than ruin, more even than death. Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man. - Bertrand Russell
If this nation is to be wise as well as strong, if we are to achieve our destiny, then we need more new ideas for more wise men reading more good books … We must know all the facts and hear all the alternatives and listen to all the criticisms. – John F. Kennedy
There is no room for self-expression in the priesthood.
- Elder David Bednar
My true religion, my simple faith is love and compassion. There is no need for complicated philosophy, doctrine, or dogma. Our own heart, our own mind, is the temple. The doctrine is compassion. Love for others and respect for their rights and dignity, no matter who or what they are--these are ultimately all we need.
-The Dalai Lama
Once social change begins, it cannot be reversed. You cannot uneducate the person who has learned to read. You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride. You cannot oppress the people who are not afraid anymore. We have seen the future, and the future is ours.
- Cesar Chavez
It is not the mind of heretics that are deteriorated most, by the ban placed on all inquiry which does not end in the orthodox conclusions. The greatest harm is done to those who are not heretics, and whose whole mental development is cramped, and their reason cowed, by the fear of heresy.
- John Stuart Mill
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie
- Ted Olson
Fidelity, charity, generosity, humility and responsibility form the foundation of a Christian life and are the outward manifestation of the inner man.
- David Burton
if you give up what you want most for what you think you should want more, you'll just end up miserable.
- Brandon Sanderson
Straight Americans
need... an educationof the heart and soul. They must understand - to begin with - how it can feel to spend years denying your own deepest truths, to sit silently through classes, meals, and church services while people you love toss off remarks that brutalize your soul.
Bruce Bawer
The Advocate, 28 April 1998
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal
What we insistently desire, over time, is what we eventually become and receive in eternity.
- Neal Maxwell
Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others' opinions drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs
There's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.
- Hamlet
I am oppressed by the uncertainty of my future, but I cherish the lively hope of seeing my dreams fulfilled, because the Lord cannot place thoughts and desires in a person's soul if He does not really intend to fulfill them, to gratify these longings which He alone has caused.
- Blaise Pascal
What we insistently desire, over time, is what we eventually become and receive in eternity.
- Neal Maxwell
Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others' opinions drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs
There's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.
- Hamlet
I am oppressed by the uncertainty of my future, but I cherish the lively hope of seeing my dreams fulfilled, because the Lord cannot place thoughts and desires in a person's soul if He does not really intend to fulfill them, to gratify these longings which He alone has caused.
- Saint Padre Pio
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
- e. e. cummings
Whose boat drives on and on, and anchored ne'er shall be.
- George Gordon, Lord Byron
The Lord did not people the earth with a vibrant orchestra of personalities only to value the piccolos of the world. Every instrument is precious and adds to the complex beauty of the symphony.
- Joseph Wirthlin
I have always been unsatisfied with life as most people live it. Always I want to live more intensely and richly. Why muck and conceal one's true longings and loves, when by speaking of them one might find someone to understand them, and by acting on them one might discover oneself?
- Everett Ruess
It’s the loneliest feeling in the world. It’s like walking down an empty street, listening to your own footsteps. But all you have to do is to knock on any door and say ‘If you let me in, I’ll live the way you want me to live and I’ll think the way you want me to think’, and all the blinds will go up and all the doors will open, and you will never be lonely, ever again.
- Henry Drummond in Inherit the Wind by Robert Lee
Marriage is a civil contract. You might as well make a law to say how many children a man shall have, as to make a law to say how many wives he shall have. It would be as sensible to make a law to say how many horses or oxen he shall possess, or how many cows his wife shall milk.
- Brigham Young
Only regret what you don't learn from.
- Chris Taylor
Others sing your life
But now is a chance to shine
And have the pleasure of
Saying what you mean
Have the pleasure of
Meaning what you sing
Oh, make no mistake my friend
All of this will end
So sing it now, sing your life
- Morrissey
"The worst sinners, according to Jesus, are not the harlots and publicans, but the religious leaders with their insistence on proper dress and grooming, their careful observance of all the rules, their precious concern for status symbols, their strict legality, their pious patriotism... the haircut becomes the test of virtue in a world where Satan deceives and rules by appearances." -Hugh Nibley
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forgo their use" - Galileo Galilei
"The moment we fail to recognize the good in those with whom we quarrel is the moment we've lost sight of who we are as a people." - President Obama, 3 June 09
"I never thought it was right to call up a man and try him because he erred in doctrine; it looks too much like Methodism and not like Latter-day Saintism. Methodists have a creed which a man must believe or be asked out of their church. I want the liberty of believing as I please, it feels so good not to be trammeled." - Joseph Smith
"I see their knavery, . . . to make an ass of me; to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir from this place, do what they can: I will walk up and down here, and I will sing, that they shall hear I am not afraid." - Midsummer Night's Dream, Act III, Scene 1
"Be unafraid of new ideas for they are as steppingstones to progress. You will, of course, respect the opinions of others but be unafraid to dissent--if you are informed.... Only error needs to fear freedom of expression." - Hugh B. Brown
"Know Thyself." - Socrates, Pythagoras, Heraclitus, and a bunch of other really smart people
"I'm starting to think that things aren't quite as cut and dried as I was led to believe." - Rob
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- Politics Makes Strange . . . what was it?
- Lesson Learned, And Very Glad Too
- The Real Reason Society is Falling Apart
- Pulling Out All The Stops
- A Little Historical Context
- Paradox
- More on the Prop 8 Debate
- Two Points on Prop. 8
- Don't Pass It Up
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- From Black & White to Mostly Gray. And I'm Glad.
- What, Again?
- Pushing Yourself
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4 comments:
In August, about a month after Scott came out to me, one Sunday afternoon he and I were marveling at how well I had handled everything. During the discussion, I had the distinct feeling that not only was God strengthening me, but I was also getting strength and understanding from Scott's mother, who died when he was 13. I never knew her.
I immediately went to Scott and gave him a hug and said through my tears, "That is from your Mom."
I don't know what eternal perspective she has that I don't have, but I know that the peace I felt at that time was from her, and that she knew that everything was going to be fine.
This really hits home. I lost my father a few months ago, and when I call my mom now and it rolls to the answering machine, my father's voice is still on the machine. It freaks me out and makes me tear up just hearing his voice. I want her to remove it, but she isn't ready to do so.
Thanks for the post.
I know exactly how you feel Beck. She has been gone for a while now but Dad hasn't changed the voicemail greeting on their cell phone. I call and I hear her voice saying her name" and then the system says "is not available right now."
And I think "perfect, that's right, she's just not available right now, she's gone somewhere else for a while, but it's only temporary."
We've all told Dad "don't change the voicemail greeting. Ever."
Alan, Thanks for sharing this tender mercy with us. It has caused me to reflect about those I love. I need to do a better job of letting them know while I still have the chance. I always appreciate your perspective.
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