12 October 2008

What To Make Of This?

Dreams can be fascinating, puzzling, mystifying, frustrating, ephemeral, and sometimes frivolous, but sometimes they reflect back in condensed form the things we've been thinking about while awake. If so, I must have been thinking yesterday with some sympathy about those Church members in California who are so honestly conflicted about Proposition 8 in the face of the biggest LDS mobilization in recent memory over a political issue.

It didn't last very long, but it stuck with me. It was night. I was standing outside a large house, looking in through expensive beveled glass French doors. Inside was a large and beautifully furnished room filled with men and women, and now that I think about it, they were all seated as couples. Every chair was taken and some were seated on the floor. Everyone was well-dressed. It was clear these people lacked for very little. All were smiling and the conversation appeared to be lively.

I paced outside the door and the adjacent windows for a little while. The doors were locked. Finally someone inside saw me and came to the door. I asked if I could come in. “By yourself?”, he asked. Yes. “Just a minute.” I waited. A few moments later, he came back. “Well, okay, you can come in, but you have to sit over there and you can't join the conversation or participate. You can watch but that's all.” I agreed because it was cold outside and I was tired of being out there by myself. I went in and took a seat. Some were polite and said hello, but after that nobody took much notice of me, and I just sat quietly. Everyone appeared to be waiting for the leader of the group to appear, and the dream ended before he did. But the last thing I remember was somehow knowing that when the leader finally got there, things would be different, I would be allowed to participate, and I wouldn't be largely ignored in a corner anymore.


Bror said...

I know I was looking in the door with you my friend.

Beck said...

This dream makes me feel really sad and yet, you leave it as if there is a sign of hope for a better time to come.

I hope so. I hope so for all of us. If anything, this issue has united us to see the need of never excluding anyone for reasons centered on just because of who they are.

My dreams tend to be more longing for what I can't have. Similar in that there is exclusion or that something desired is taken away or not permitted. Other of my dreams live out fantasies that I would never permit myself to do in reality.

The subconscious mind is really an amazing thing.